Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Jones: 10 & 11 months

Jonah! Next month you are one. I would say I can't believe it, but I really can! We have had you for almost a whole year, but I can't even imagine living life without you. I almost can't remember what it even felt like. Today we were sitting on the couch with Jax and he was making you laugh and I was wondering if Jax could even remember life before you. I don't think he can. Your great-grandma cause you my "appendage" because you are attached to my hip always. That's part of the reason why it is pretty believabe that it has been almost a whole year...I have carried you about 90% of that time. You're my sidekick, my buddy. I forget sometimes that I am holding you. Sometimes you get spurts of independence and want to get down, but then you lean right back to me. You are starting to get silly! Just in these last couple weeks I have noticed you and Jax playing! Really playing. Jax talks to you and does silly things to make you laugh. Today I snuck up on you guys while you were playing in the loft and you were taking turns with a toy. I love watching you guys grow together. When you were a newborn, I would get sad sometimes because I didn't want you to grow up. I wanted to freeze my life right where it was. Jax as a little two-year-old and you as my baby who needed to be held and bounced and nursed- but watching you grow together is even better. Whenever you are crying in your crib- Jax is in there as fast as he can be. At first he would lay with you and put his arm around you, but then he realized you didn't like that- so now he just lays down in your crib, not touching you, just to be there. You have been climbing up the stairs for months now, but Jax still cheers for you every time. He comes to me and says, "Mom! Jones just climbed up the stairs!" Lately he's been in to feeding you. He gives you bites of whatever he has, even if it's something he really really loves. I can't wait for you two to grow together and have each other always. I'm not sad about you getting bigger anymore. 
And by the still need to be held and bounced and nursed all the time, so I'm not having withdrawls quite yet! :) We love you Jones! Thanks for being our baby boy!

Right now you:

-Are holding my leg whining...hahaha. You really are! But you are getting much more independant. Sometimes when I put you down, you will just crawl away and play. You love to play with toys now. You LOVE books! You don't sit through an entire book very often, but you love to flip through them and look at the pictures.

-You love to eat whatever we're eating. If you see us put something in our mouth, you want it. You love yogurt, applesauce, and fruit the most. Dinners are kind of hit or miss. You either love it or you hate it. If you don't want something, you will put your chin up and shake your head "no." It's the cutest thing! Sometimes if I am giving you another bite too soon you will shake your head no too!

-You hate to be in your crib. 90% of the time, you wake up in the morning of from a nap crying. You can put yourself back to sleep in the middle of the night though! Sometimes when you are really tired, you want to go to your crib. You will be really fussy or squirmy and I will lay you down in your crib and pat your chest and you go right to sleep. Last night, I just laid you in there awake and tired and you feel right to sleep. 

-You love to climb the stairs! You have yet to go down them though...I keep trying to teach you but you haven't caught on yet.

-You can stand up and you are so proud of yourself! You love when we're all watching you stand and we're clapping and cheering. You haven't really tried to walk yet. Yesterday you were standing on the couch next to dad and he said he saw you try to take a step! I think you'll be walking in the next couple months.

-On Monday we went to a little park and you noticed your first girl! I was dying laughing and wanted to take a picture, but didn't want to make her mom feel weird. It was hilarious. All the older siblings were playing and you two were just standing there holding onto the playground. She tried to pull your hair, but you kept putting your arm around her. It was so cute. Her mom and I were both laughing. You love other kids. You are so gentle and sweet with them. You never are rough with other babies. Dad thinks you'll always be gentle and compassionate. ;)

-You are starting to get silly. You love it when I say "JONAHHHH!" You laugh and smile and breathe really fast. You love to be naughty! Today I was trying to bring you downstairs so I could stick dinner in the oven and you were holding on the rails as tight as you could do I couldn't move you. You were laughing so hard! The harder I pulled on you and ticked you, the more you laughed! Oh...and you LOVE to be tickled! You are the most ticklish on your sides and on your tummy!

-You hate having your diaper changed. You are the hardest kid to change and put pants on. You are constantly rolling. Sometimes you're just being silly and sometimes you are actually mad. You wake up from almost every nap with no pants. You are actually getting skinnier- so some of your pants are too big now! You also sometimes hate getting in your car seat, but are always really good once you are in it. 

-When we go to stores you always stand up in the cart. It's hard but I kinda love it because you hold on to my neck while I shop. Jax did (and does) the same thing. I love my little cuddly boys. (And P.S. you are a really good shopper! Lots of other moms get babysitters while they shop or bring someone with them, but you and Jax are so easy! We go walk around stores every week when we're bored! You guys love to look at things!)

-You aren't scared of animals. You love kitties and dogs. You usually try to catch cats. It's hilarious. And you are learning to be "soft" with animals too.

-You give kisses! They are very sporadic but that makes them really special. When you decide to give a kiss, you look that person right in the face and lean in really softly. You don't give slobbery kisses. They are soft and you just press your whole face against the person and freeze for a minute. It's the cutest think in the entire world. I live for your kisses! You need to give them a little more often though! :)

-You are really really good at church. You don't need to be bounced or stood up with or anything. You usually still nurse at some point while we are there though. You hate football games. You whine the whole time and hate sitting on the bench! haha

-Your voice is really raspy. I LOVE IT. I am hoping it stays. 

-You love to play with cords and get into all the kitchen cupboards. You are starting to get in to things, but you are a good little listener! I was so surprised because just in this last month I have started telling you "no..." and you listen a lot of the time! Complete opposite of your brother. It was so unexpected. You love to play in the shower that dad is fixing. You think you are so funny. Sometimes I tell you "no" and you look at me and laugh. You are getting such a cute little personality. 

-I'm obsessed with your lips, cheeks, neck, shoulders, and wrists. You have always had the prettiest lips. Right when you were born, we noticed your lips. You are a squishy little baby. Jax was more solid- you are more squishy. You have tiny little feet! You are barely just fitting in to Jax's first pair of shoes. You do wear size 18-24 month clothes though! Lots of people say you are starting to look more like Jax- other people say you look like Cody and Chad. No matter what, you will be one cute kid!

-You love to feel different textures. I notice you looking at and touching different things. If we are reading a book and something on the page looks different or textured, you feel it right away. You are curious and observant. 

-You  have two teeth and you just got another one on the bottom! I noticed it yesterday!

-You are naturally gentle. I'm amazed at your understanding of "be soft." You know to be soft with animals and other kids. There have been a couple times where you have bulldozed your brother though- if he has a toy you want, you can definitely hold your own!

I am going to write more things about you as they come to me. All day, I think about you and say to myself,  I need to write that down! I just want you to know that you are loved. You are so so loved! I wonder every day why I was so blessed to be your mom. I love being your mom. It's the only thing in life that could ever make me feel the feelings I feel every day- joy and fulfillment. Heaven doesn't feel so far away because I have Jax and I have you. 

Love you my little Jones! 

One fish, two fish!

I took so many pictures on this little patch of sand at our lake house this summer. It looks so serene and perfect, but what was really happening was this: two older ladies from church were sitting in lawn chairs right on the grass near this patch of sand watching me- wade in the water in my pajamas trying to get these shots. Saying "Jonah! Jonah! Jonah! Look at mommy! Jonah!" like a maniac. And running back and forth. Jonah actually hates the sand, so he kept crawling to me and I kept picking him up and putting him back in the water and then I would run over and crouch on the sand to try to get the perfect shot- probably underwear hanging out and all! I'm sorry. But I cannot resist sandy bum cheeks and little boys with freckles on their noses. But I still don't miss summer guys! Not even at alllllll. Happy first day of Fall! 

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Life Lessons in the Home Depot Parking Lot

This last spring, right after we moved into our house, we decided to plant some new flowers. Our yard needed a lot of work- so one day I packed the boys in the car and we went to Home Depot to get some plants and dirt and a rake. I don't remember at all what happened in there- I just know that by the time we got to the car with all our stuff, I was ready to get my boys in the car and get home. The definite worst part of errands for me is loading all my crap and my kids into the car when I'm about to leave somewhere (actually unloading it is just as bad). My kids were fussy- I was trying to get them and all my stuff in the trunk and get out of there. It was hot and the bags of dirt were heavy and huge and I thought to myself I can't believe I am lifting all these things alone. This is terrible. Someone pulled in to the parking spot right to the right of me and I lifted this yellow rake out of my car to stick in my trunk. And before she even got out of her car, I smacked it with the rake as I was loading it, leaving a huge mark. I rubbed the mark with my fingers and it just wasn't coming off. So reluctantly, as the lady got out of her car, I said, I'm so sorry...I just have to let you know that I accidentally smacked the side of your car with my rake and I can't get this mark off. The lady moved over towards me and looked at the mark and immediately said with a smile, 
"Oh don't worry about's just a car!" 
I feel like after that she offered to help or something but I can't even remember because her response just totally amazed me. Here is this crazy mom with two whiney kids- probably not showered or put together at all, loading a rake into her car so carelessly that she smacked the car right next to her. I just couldn't believe she reacted like that. I'm sad to say that I honestly don't think I would have responded that way. It changed my whole day. She totally made me want to be different. I want to be like her.

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Phone dump

I had finally gotten both boys down for a nap and was probably all settled on the couch. All of the sudden I heard quiet banging (which meant Jax was awake) and then I heard Jonah screaming and Jax whispering (which meant he was in Jonah's room). I stomped up the stairs frustrated-ly and walked into Jonah's room to find Jax laying in Jonah's bed trying to help him fall asleep. He said he just wanted to "lay wif him." Cutest thing ever.

We have been going to the library on Thursdays since I chickened out on preschool. I figure if I was going to do four hours of preschool a week, one hour at the library and two hours in nursery is good enough. Not ready to let this munchkin leave me yet. He is so funny because he gets embarrassed when they have to dance or do silly things. He does this thing where he sticks out his bottom teeth whenever he gets nervous.

Sometimes when I am shopping at TJ Maxx and I feel like a boring mom I take my kids to the pet store right next door. It makes me feel less guilty. Last time we were there, Jax was literally scared of everything but the fish. This time he warmed up to the rodents. My mom has two guinea pigs and I swear I don't get it. I don't understand. I grew up with tons of pets and I am perfectly content with zero. McKay grew up with no pets and he wants a kitten so bad! It's hilarious.  

My grandma and grandpa are on my dream trip on the east coast shopping for furniture and buying new clothes. Here she is facetiming me- taunting me her new Anthro stuff. This is a hat she bought. She wasn't really trying to taunt me. She just asked me if I liked it. YES GRANDMA IT'S FROM ANTHROPOLOGIE OF COURSE I LIKE IT. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST SHOP AT COLDWATER CREEK LIKE ALL THE OTHER GRANDMAS AND STOP BUYING THINGS IM TOO POOR FOR. Just kidding, it looks really cute on you. #imcrying

Jax joined a soccer team and McKay is his coach. I was dying laughing to myself because McKay is obsessed with soccer and would love for Jax to be the best., but Jax struggled following directions, was easily distracted and also distracted others. lol. He sure looks cute though!

I was so exited because there were actually parents there that looked close to my age. Friend potential. The only problem is that Jonah whined the entire time so I could never meet any of them. He did the same thing this week at Jax's second practice. Finally, I just gave up and nursed- right in the middle of the gym. Is that weird? McKay asked me afterward, umm...were you nursing??... I don't get it. Obviouslyyy. What's the big deal.

K I had to post these because Jones is my buddy all day long.


McKay has brought up a baby a couple times. Today we got home and he said "so do you think it's going to be a long time before we have another baby?" What?! I said. Are you worried about it?  hahahahahaha. And honestly we haven't had any long conversations about this. Just little moments where I'm like nope, not baby hungry yet! But McKay's taking it hard. I think he wants a baby. Who knew that the guy who said that I had to count ten pregnant women at church before we could have Jaxers would be so baby hungry. It's really cute and I love it. But i'm not ready yet. Never thought I would say that! Let's sleep through the night at least two times in a row first! 

And this post by the way is in no way foreshadowing anything. Just thought McKay was really cute!

Saturday, September 20, 2014


This week is over. What a long long long week. Last week, we all got sick- so this week was like recovery, catch up, try to be normal but you're not feelin' it yet, etc. Draining. I don't know what it is, but ever since i've started blogging again, i've just wanted to lay it all out on here. Too much I think, that's what journals are for maybe? But there's something about a blog and knowing someone's reading it. Someone's maybe in the same boat or feeling the exact same thing. I think i'm having some honest writing withdrawls. Everyone might just have to deal with me and my girlie hormones until about day 12 when it's all out of my system. Then we can talk about clothes or crap I want to buy at Anthro or whatever again.

I feel like I have no friends. I have never had a time like this ever in my life. It's so weird. I grew up with people I stayed close to forever. I started college with girls who were just like me and became like my sisters. And then all of the sudden we got married and moved back to Seattle and there is just no one here I click with. Some weeks I don't care. Some weeks I am just busy and focused on my kids and my home and my life that nothing even crosses my mind. But this week, for some reason it did. I'm grateful for a permanent best friend who kisses me on the forehead and talks to me and laughs at my stupid jokes. But boys are sometimes gross and annoying. And I need some girls around here.

We talked a lot this week about life (McKay and I). About the future- school, kids, friends, etc. We feel kind of in limbo. Like were in that limbo between teenager and adulthood. Let me rephrase that- we are definitely adults...with the maturity of adults?...maybe. We were talking today about our kids. Talking about how we don't ever want to see them go through a hard thing and wish we would have done more. More to teach them and prepare them- tried harder to be better examples. It was like one of those moments where life hits you. When you realize I have arrived here! I am here with my husband in a house with two kids. This is everything. And it's the most important spot I have ever been in my whole entire life. The time I waited for and hoped for and dreamed about. It's here. And I wonder every day if I'm doing it good enough. If I play enough or do enough activities or set a good enough example of service and friendliness and fun.

General Conference is next month and I have never been more excited for it. I want to curl up on my couch in pajamas with a cinnamon roll and soak it all in like a sponge. I feel desperate and hungry for it right now. I am going to punch McKay so hard in the arm if he even starts to fall asleep. I love General Conference because it puts everything into perspective. You start with lots of questions. You may feel overwhelmed. You may wonder how you can possibly make everything fit together. You may wonder if you will ever feel peace or find an answer or a solution or feel adequate. But somehow, if you listen- you just do! You feel peace. You feel guided. You feel truth. You feel a little closer to home. And you feel really really really loved. You feel like you are worth everything to someone because you are. The spirit speaks to our hearts, and when that happens to me- my mind stops thinking so much. I feel like I feel closer to my kids. I recognize I have potential. The importants and unimportants get sorted out. My worries are calmed. I am more determined. I have more trust.
And I remember who I am.
I. can't. wait.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

The End of Summer

Tonight we finished Friday Night Lights. It's a sad day. McKay and I have been obsessed with it for months. I feel like McKay really learned to love life in the country- something I've always appreciated that he never understood. I just used to picture myself living in country songs so I think I've always had a feel for country life. haha. But still. Somehow, football has a whole new meaning to me. I get it now you guys. I might cry at my brother's game tomorrow night.

Today was the longest day in a long time. It rained and we went to the library. Everything is getting wetter and colder and darker. and I LOVE IT. I'm a true Seattle girl. I will miss nothing about the sun. My house will go back to being under 78 degrees. I will enjoy going on walks again. My kids will go to sleep earlier. I can drink hot chocolate and wear fuzzy socks. I can make pumpkin things. Everything's about to get warm and cozy and cheerful. I love this time of the year.

The only thing I will miss is Jonah's naked sandy dimpley bum.
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