Tuesday, April 21, 2015


Whew! I am on such a roll. Super proud of myself. Actually, I'm only blogging because McKay is watching a game and the kiddos are in bed so since there is no one to talk to, I will talk to to the entire world via my blog! Jax got sick yesterday. We went to swimming lessons early in the morning where he did fine, but by the time we were at playgroup he wasn't quite himself. It was so warm and beautiful out yesterday. I think it was like 70 degrees. The kids just rode bikes and kicked balls and ran around church parking lot and we moms just sat on blankets and walked around a chatted. It was SO nice. But just as we were getting ready to leave, I noticed that Jax was just lying on the concrete- I think because it was warm and he maybe had the chills?.. But I still just thought he was really tired, so we went to Trader Joes. Trader Joes is one of his favorite places ever to go. He LOVES to push his own little cart. Sometimes out-of-the-blue he will ask to go to Trader Joes. But when he told me he wanted to put all his groceries in my cart and have me hold him, I knew there was something wrong. We left and I stuck him in the car while I loaded the groceries in the trunk and he was just out! That night he had a fever of 104! So I called the on-call doctor and they said to come in if it was 105. This morning it was gone, but tonight it came back just a little bit. All day today he wanted to be cuddled with, held, and made "warm." It was HEAVEN. All three of us fell asleep together watching a movie today. I keep thinking about another baby. I want another baby and I want another sibling for Jax and Jonah so bad. But I honestly worry about my guilt! I wonder if I will ever feel like I am giving each child the amount of attention they need. Sometimes I even worry about that with Jax and Jonah. How do you do three? But then again, I know that somehow it will work. It will feel right and we will wonder how we ever lived without that third little baby. McKay and I switch who we put to sleep every night and tonight it was my turn to put Jonah to sleep. I was holding him in my arms, but as he got drowsier and drowsier his head started tipping back, so I readjusted him and it was so funny because he wanted to be held just like he did when he was a newborn- body up against mine with his head tipped back. Then I walked into our room to check on Jax. When our kids are sleep, they sleep in our bed with us. McKay and I cuddled him and kissed him until he was out. Just as I was about to leave, Jax coughed in his sleep and he flexed his hands just like he did when he would get startled as a newborn.
I love being a mom. I know some people don't like it. I know it can be overwhelming. I know it's not even fulfilling to some, though I don't understand how it can't be. But I am totally and completely fulfilled. I love my job. I love my kiddos. I love having toddlers. I will love it when they're 8 and 12 and even teenagers. Someone said to me the other day that the teenage age won't be fun, but I totally think it will! My brothers were so fun as teenagers. Sometimes I worry that something bad is going to happen because everything seems so perfect. Maybe! Who knows. But I know that Heavenly Father wants us to be happy during our time on earth. I really really love this life. I love where I am at and where I am going. I am really really happy. Being Jax and Jonah's mom makes me happier than anything else in the whole entire world. And I tell them that every single day!

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Spring Break

For spring break this year we went to the lake house! It was semi-cold, but of course both my kiddos wanted to strip down and get in the water. I think they're nuts. I absolutely hate anything cold. Even in the summer, i don't love going in the cold water. Not my thing. But my kids love it. We were there two days before everything else got there. Just us and grandma and grandpa. Grandpa took McKay fishing those first two mornings- McKay is being initiated into the real-man-hunting-fishing club. At first, he didn't even get invited on these adventures so going fishing means he's getting cool. Plus my grandpa loves teaching the boys these things so it's cute to watch him take McKay and teach him too. I stayed home with grandma and the boys. I don't know if it's the laziness in me or what, but I am still stuck in between those I'm-on-vacation-at-the-lakehouse and I'm-a-mom-now-there-are-no-vacations stages. It's a huge struggle for me. I get there and want to just lie on the couch and eat like i did from ages 3-20, but I can't because now I'm a mom, so i reluctantly put on sandals and walk down to the water. I know I am such a bad mom. I'm hoping this summer I can just embrace the nature and ALSO McKay and I are on our second week of Insanity so I think that after this I will have more energy to be adventurous! 
The boys are at the best ages- watch, in two years I will say the same thing! They are so hilarious. Jax is turning into a real boy. To many, this stage would be disturbing, but to me, it's hilarious. Growing up with three little brothers, it's all very familiar. Hence, the nakedness and censor strips. I would seriously be rich if I had a dollar for every time I said "Jax! Those are your privates! Put them back in your pants! " 

Jax is still in swimming lessons (but we are quitting next month) but it is so funny because sometimes when he is rinsing off in the shower after his class (which takes forever because he LOVES the shower) the (older) lady aerobics class gets out and they all get in the very confined square shower area and just strip! So the other day I kind of casually grabbed Jax by the elbow and hurriedly rushed him out, afraid he would say something. The immature part of my brain was kind of laughing a little and I kind of laughed out loud quietly but I was the only mom doing it! Seriously so immature! But how can you not laugh when you are yanking your three-year-old out of a shower of naked old ladies?! SERIOUSLY. But they are all so sweet and nice and love the little kids. It's just funny. I don't know. SO ANYWAYS.

Jonah makes us laugh a lot lately. He is quite the chubby little goofball. Silly and really serious. Everyone who meets him thinks he is so serious! And he is a much more serious baby than Jax was. But he is so goofy at home. I always noticed that with Jax too. I love how my kids are always the silliest at home because that's where they are the most comfortable. His new word is "no." It's his response to everything. "Jonah, do you love mommy?!" "NO." "Jonah, do you want to eat?" "No." "Jonah, do you want to read a book?" "No." We've been training him for high school peer pressure. ha ha total mom joke. 

K so also McKay has a mustache. It's so awful and I hate it. The scary thing is that I know he actually likes it. The first night he had it, I could tell he was giddy and then last night he dyed it so it would be so pronounced. And you know how you go through those phases where you think your husband is so hot. Like obviously you always think they are so cute and handsome, but then sometimes you look at them and you are like "Holy cow, he is so freaking hot." I have just been going through one of those phases and to top it off, we went to see Cinderella and I looked at him during the movie and I really thought he looked like a prince! I told him and he laughed and thought it was so stupid but it was true, I really did. But now he has the mustache and he just looks like a scoutmaster. 

Thursday, April 2, 2015

The Worst Sunday Dinner of My Life

Jax has been saying the creepiest things lately. He has a new habit at the dinner table of talking about death. It's lovely. I'm not sure if it's because we've been talking about the resurrection since Easter is coming up or what...but it's weird. It makes me feel weird and depressed and helpless. Today I was downstairs and Jax was upstairs in his room and he yelled down something like "MOM! I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL I DIE" so I said back "umm...WHAT?! WHY?!" And he said "Because then I can go to heaven!" These great convos have been happening a lot. I feel super uncomfortable with them. McKay thinks it's sweet or something. Sunday we were sitting down together having a family dinner and JAx randomly goes. "Dad...when will we die?" and so I quickly interjected "NOT FOR A LONG LONG TIME" then McKay said something about how he would die first and Jax said "Dad, can you save me a spot next to you?" And i'm not even kidding, it was all I could do to not to start crying. I almost had to leave the table. I'm dead serious. McKay kept looking at me and going AW! And I was really mad inside. McKay has this weird thing where he feels close to me when I cry and okay...I get that when you are DATING. Crying is like this bonding cute thing that brings you closer...but not when you have been married for five years and your three year old is talking like that at the dinner table. In conclusion: LET'S JUST END ALL CONVERSATIONS ON DEATH. THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT.

Sunday, March 29, 2015

Seems like a good time for a catch-up! Lazy Sunday afternoon- McKay is sleeping on the chair and boys are watching Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. I guess it's technically a classic...maybe? But I really don't know how my kids (or McKay) can sit through this thing! The songs. Ahh! ANWAYS. It's almost Easter! Next week is Easter Sunday and General Conference! And I totally forgot to dress my kiddos in Easter clothes. Oh well. Jax started swimming lessons two months ago. I reluctantly signed him up again for this month. He just loves it so much. He's more confident. It at EIGHT FOURTY IN THE MORNING. I am probably going to die but that okay. I used to do early morning seminary...I can do this. I am drawing out this be-as-slow-as-I-want-in-the-morning time before Jax starts school for a loooooooooong as possible. I really don't know how I went to seminary.

Jax loves swimming lessons and coloring. Those are probably his two favorite things to do. Lately though he has a habit of coloring hard in one spot until the paper breaks and then eventually he just ditches the paper and colors all over the counter- so I try really hard to avoid art projects now. But most of the time, Sister Hinckley's advice to say yes as often as you can pops in to my mind and I feel guilty and hand over the markers...or Play Doh. He's super sweet. He says, "I love you" "I love you the most" all the time and sometimes he will say things like "You're a really great mom" or "That was such a fun day!" Or sometimes when people leave our house he will say so and so "Is so nice." I love his personality. He can also be a stinker. His swear word is "stupid." If he's super super mad at me, he will call me a "stupid rat." Umm...? No idea where he got that! It's really really hard not to laugh. He's really scared of bugs. He screams at the top of his lungs. Like painfully high whenever there is a bug. A couple weeks ago he was on the toilet and there was a bug flying around and he was screaming his head off. It was so sad, but so funny. He loves his brother. Ever night before bed they have a special make out sesh. I think it's the cutest thing. They are so little, who cares if they have seven-second kisses? McKay, on the other hand, gets a little uncomfortable hahaha. Yesterday we were listening to their conversation in the bath and Jax goes, "Jonah!! Marry me!!" They are so in love with each other. It's the cutest thing. Jax gave his first talk today in Primary. He did SO good. He spoke really loud and clear the whole time. He does good in Primary- especially with me in there. He listens to his teacher and stays in his seat.

Jones is starting to say lots and lots of words. His FAVORITE one by far is "no." He points his finger and goes "no, no," but it sounds more like "na! na!" He says it allllll the time. If we are taking him to his bed he goes "noooooo nooooooooooo." If Jax gets food and Jonah wants some he says it. He says it if he wants to play in the toilet and I move him. He says it all day! He also says: mom, dad, Jax, please, more, yes, book, ball, kitty, uh-oh, ei-ei-oh (side-note: he doesn't really do this anymore but he used to say ei-ei-oh in the middle of crying. so he would be like "ahhhhhhhhhh eeeeeiiieiiiiioooohhhhh aaahhhh." McKay and I would die laughing every time. He says lots of other words that I can't think of. He folds his arms for prayer. He smacks his head on everything. He does this thing when he's really mad where he will just fall straight back. Today Jax pushed him into the clerks office at church and Jonah was embarrassed and scared/mad so he walked out and just fell straight backwards! It was so horrible! It's literally like the trust fall if no one catches you! That's what he does! He is stubborn. He loves to cuddle with Jax at night. After we read to them, Jonah climbs on top of Jax and puts his arms around his neck or on his cheeks and they start hugging and smooching! Jonah loves to eat and drink. They are his favorite things to do. He could eat all day. He hates being left outside of a room. There are times when I need him out of the room I am in (life vacuuming behind a door) and he looses it. He is a momma's boy and I love it. But if McKay is home, McKay wins half the time. Jones still likes to be held, which is why I can't quite image having a newborn yet... :/

more later.

*shoot, I just realized that I repeated myself a ton in this most. I need to blog more! hahaha

Thursday, March 12, 2015


Where do I even start?! I feel like I have missed so much, it makes me sad.
Okay, right now Jonah is SICK. Like sick sick- fever, cuddly. will. not. sleep. He needs to be held all day at all times. It's so sad. Jax has never really been like that when he is sick. This is actually the first time Jonah has been really really sick. It's so sad. His big lips are all red and he is kind of moan-y because he doesn't feel good and it's just sad. The boys both end up in our bed every night. It's been going on for a while. We are off and on about it. Some nights I am just completely done with kids in our bed and some nights I secretly kinda like it. I get some satisfaction out of letting my kids do stuff I'm "not supposed" to let them do. Tonight Jax was crying at the top of the stairs when Jonah got to stay up with us. He said his feelings were hurt that Jonah was downstairs. These last two weeks...I don't know- but by the time 8:30 hits, I am just done. I actually am done way before that, but lucky for me, McKay kind of picks up the slack. But I wasn't nice enough to let Jax come down. I DID bring him up some chocolate and let him read books in our bed. SPEAKING OF- Costco has the coconut Lindt chocolates right now!!!!!! :) :) I eat them every time I feel exhausted/frustrated/hungry during the day. Today I ate like eight. One of the times I hid behind the island from the kids and ate one.
The kids are so funny so cute and so smart. Jax is kind of giving me a run for my money lately. He says "stupid" like it's a swear word. He has figured out what lying means so he will tell me something not true and then say "MOM I'M LYING" with a smile on his face. He is also obsessed with Jonah. He tells me, "MOM! I want to hold Jonah!" all the time. Jonah is saying a few words. He says "no." But it's more like "nooooow nooooooow noooooow" and sometimes when he's whining he goes "aaaahhhh eeeiii eeeiiii ooowwwww" Like from "The Farmer in the Dale." It's so funny. Jonah also never stops eating.
I am planning to do some updating this week. But I will just say that we are happy where we are at. We are happy and busy anddddd to be continued...

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Don't forget!

I don't have pictures or anything to go with this! Bummerrrrr. But I wanted to jot down a few things about the kiddos. All day I follow my kids around the house and think I can't forget that! And shoot! I never write any of this down!

Lately it has been foggy in the morning lately and Jax looks out the loft window and says "mom it's really froggy today."

Yesterday Jax wanted Jonah to fall asleep in the teepee and I was kind of half paying attention cause I was doing primary stuff. All the sudden Jonah was crying and I looked over and Jax was smacking his back going "GO TO SLEEP JONAH." So I went over there and grabbed Jax and said something like  Jax, we never ever hit. Never. Do mommy and daddy hit you when we want you to go to sleep? no we don't. hitting isn't nice.  And Jax responded "YES YOU DO." So i said no we don't.  And Jax said "YES YOU DO MOM .YOU DO." He's talks back a lot now though! 80% funny.

Jax plays a new game in the tup where he gets a washcloth wet and throws it at the wall of the bathtub. He named it "fitch ball."

JOnah loves to kiss. He goes on little kissing rampages every day. He opens his mouth wide and we all just freeze, waiting for our turn. We try to not to move because we don't want him to stop. His favorite person to kiss is Jax and Jax loves it.

Jax has started saying "mom I have a great idea!"

Jonah has started dancing and he head-bangs really stiffly and it's hilarious

Jonah will not go down the stairs the right way. He has to be totally standing up and holds on to the rails and steps down each step facing forward like an adult. It's really really scary

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

little christmas elves!

well, actually the opposite of elves because they build nothing and destroy everything! ;)

at least his bruise matches his shirt right?! hahahahaha. these are photos from Sunday after church. We got home, kicked off our shoes (actually I had to lay on our bed while McKay yanked off my boots) and we all started taking off our church clothes so we could get into bed for our weekly after-church cuddle sesh where our kids climb over our faces and McKay and I look at each other and say "what was it like in college when we could nap whenever we wanted to....?" BUT I remembered that we hadn't taken any pictures in our Christmas church outfits and I know how much our cul-de-sac has missed hearing me yell "LOOK AT MOMMY! LOOK AT MOMMY!" and listening to my kids cry, sooo... I told McKay that everyone had to get dressed again really quick and we headed out to the front porch, to which he groaned and put on his church shirt and tie, but left on his bball shorts. Works for me!

This Sunday marked the beginning of my favorite week of the year. I love Christmas. It's my favorite holiday. There is just a special feeling in the month of December. Can't believe it's already here and before we know it, it will be gone! I am semi-excited for the drab months of January to April. They are always so boring and slow and RELAXING. I feel things will maybe slow down just a little. This has been a crazy year for our family. Jonah was born (well, over a year ago I guess) but it seemed like right after, we moved and stuff has been crazy ever since. Today I had a small moment where Jonah was sleeping, Jax was at the neighbors and I actually sat on the couch to watch TV and I thought to myself, I really miss this absent part of my life. Is that pathetic or relatable? 
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