WHAT IS WITH ME? I am in such a bloggy mood lately! I'm going to write this quick so I can go to bed. I'm not even going to read over what I write to edit it. Do you know one of the things I worry most about is accidentally typing a swear word and not catching it. hahaha WHAT are the chances of that?! LOL. Anywayzzz. Today I was driving in my car thinking. Just about how much there is to do and about the holiday and stuff like that. I made myself a list the other day. It said things such as, buy mom a present, wrap presents, finish mailing cards, bring treats to people, do primary crap (my calling is in the primary), etc. etc. The holidays have been great and weird this year. Great because I think I am starting to feel what they are really about. Not just know what Christmas is about, but feel it. We set up our nativity this year. It's this wooden nativity I got in Ecuador for my grandma- that she gave back to me because she knew I would want it (and i'm so glad because I DID!) and I've caught Jax a couple times looking at it. Looking at it and playing with it and carefully picking up the baby Jesus and gently carrying Him around. I've thought about the birth of Christ. The way he came into the world. Humbly and meekly which was a perfect foreshadowing of His entire life. I read my scriptures by our Christmas tree today. I've tried to switch my focus when all I can think about it what to get people and even what I want for Christmas. That's not what it's about. I'm going to try my best to teach my kiddos that.
We made treats tonight and took them to friends and acquaintances. You guys, you should have seen my kitchen. It was a last minute thing. It was on my list. Today, I kind of had one of those moments where I thought to myself OMGSHHHHHH I AM SO SICK OF LOOKING AT THIS. it's all getting done. today. So instead of making dinner, I made cookies and stuff and ran to Hobby Lobby to get paper plates and we put it all together and dropped them off tonight. Jax was excited. He wanted to get out at every house and bring the family their treat. It was fun to watch. Jones slept most of the time. By the time we were done it was after eight and I still hadn't fed my fam. It's hard to balance everything. I'm not the perfect planner wife yet.
As I scrambled around my disaster of a kitchen though, I was thinking about my list. Some things on it, I had to do obviously. But some things I didn't. It was kind of an epiphany moment. I thought about my friends my age and other girls my age in the world. I wondered if all of them had a list on their counter of things they had to do to make the holidays the holidays. I thought probably not. Maybe some. And please don't be offended guys, but I want to remember this about myself. I just felt like I was trying to be 50 years old. (P.S. I love 50 year olds but I just picture myself having most of it together and having a great balance at that age, which I don't have yet). Then I sort of laughed inside to myself because it was just so dumb! I wondered what would happen if I didn't bring cookies to people. They wouldn't care. Then I said told McKay that I think I'm acting too old and he agreed with me. So this year you got cookies from us. But next year we might just stay home and watch The Office and not bring anyone cookies. We might not even do Christmas Cards. Who knows. We might not even watch Elf and say "bye buddy, hope you find your dad!" Just kidding, of course we will do that!
thanks mr. narwal.
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