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Photos by Jamie Jones Photography

We went to Oregon this weekend to get family pictures and to visit McKay's grandpa on his dad's side. It was a nice little just-us-family-getaway from the craziness of moving and stressing to keep things clean and just the general blur that is my life right now. I feel like half my time is spent rushing to get things done and the other half is spent in a state of total recuperation. I don't like this. Some people thrive on it. Some people love change and movement and newness and I have realized that I am so not like that. I don't like limbo. I like to be settled. So being in a car with McKay and Jax and Jonah- with a destination and a plan last weekend felt finally settled. I love those three boys.

Our family pictures were Saturday morning and when they were finished I silently rejoiced. One more thing off my list. And seriously- I am not trying to act like the busiest person in the world- but I have been really busy, for me. After pictures we pulled into a grocery store parking lot, put on comfy clothes, got the "smoothie" we bribed Jax with and went to visit McKay's grandpa. After that we headed home. 

Now we are home. And it's amazing the amount of quality time I spend with my kids when I'm totally disconnected from our house. It's actually sad to me- that so much time was spent vacuuming and scrubbing and sweeping when I could have just been playing. Lately we have been leaving dishes in the sink, not being "so careful" eating, having picnics on the carpet, and leaving the house a total mess and going to the beach. It is seriously the best! I love it. And I vow to do a lot more of that in our next house. It's kind of like ripping a bandaid off (doesn't completely parallel with what I'm trying to say, but you get the picture). Totally not possible before knowing this house wouldn't be mine anymore. But now I know what I was missing. Here's to messier houses and lots more fun.

Each night McKay and I take turns telling Jax a story in his bed and last night it was my turn. I tucked him in and we faced each other and I told him a story until he closed his eyes. And at that moment right then he was so perfect. Just perfect. Way too perfect to come from me. And I thought about who he is and who he is going to be. And I realized again that this is the most important thing I will ever be doing in my life. And so lucky that this is what I am doing with my life. Being a mom. Picking up toys. Making french toast. Saying "no" and "be soft" and "be careful" and "I love you" a hundred times every day. Yawning and waking up at 4am. Holding tiny naked bums before bath time. Cleaning sticky messes and tracing little fingers and wiping chubby cheeks. Reading rhymes and watching airplanes and going days without makeup or a pair of heels (months without the heels. MONTHS). Replacing couch cushions and snuggling under blankets and scrubbing everything out of my carpet. Brushing little teeth and wiping up bathwater and tucking blankets around tiny little bodies.
And not that I am a perfect mom, because I'm not. I'm so not. Every day there is something I wish I would have done different. But if there is one thing I want to spend as much as my life possible doing, it's this.