Okay, this post is the first on my clean slate of 2014. These photos were taken in the days right after Christmas- or the very beginning of January- something like that. I love them. This is our family. I want to say that it's taking us a little while to find the balance with four- but saying it like that kind makes it seem not fun...and it is. It is seriously SO fun. And sometimes kind of hard and confusing and just a little crazy. Every time I am about to write something like that I feel a little self-conscious. Like all the moms with four kids or twins (or WHATEVER) are immediately going to shrug and say to themselves ha! two kids! two kids?! That is nothing. But hello! Who cares because that's the most i've ever had. So we're still finding our flow, if you know what I mean. I guess I figured out something though. I honestly don't think my life will ever have a flow again. Like ever. I think that some days will be easy and some days will be hard. And somedays will be crazy with a bunch of last-minutes and little emergencies and moments that are so perfect they move in slow motion but go way too fast at the same time. Actually, most of my days, I think, will be like those last ones, because that's how they already are. When I was a mommy of one, I think maybe my subconscious was still fighting for "me." Like how do I be a great wife and a great mom while still doing the things that make me me? But now things are kind of different, I've moved a step forward. Not higher, or lower, just forward. And now I am kind of just fighting for time- for everyone! How do I be a wife for McKay and a mom for Jax and a mom for Jonah. It's kind of the same, but it's seperate. McKay needs a wife. Jax needs a mom. Jonah needs a mom. All seperate. Separate needs. Does that make sense? I don't know. Hopefully it will to me in 20 years when I read this. But that is where I get my fulfillment. That is how I feel fulfilled at 24 years old- being a mom and a wife. And it makes sense, that as women, it's the greatest thing we can do. It brings a fulfillment I know can only be felt by doing something divine- by doing the thing that we were meant to do long before we came to earth.
No wonder it brings us a little closer to heaven.