My boys have been sick. Sick babies are the saddest. McKay's cousin said newborns should not be allowed to get sick and it's true. They shouldn't. Two-year-olds shouldn't either. We had all stayed home from church on Sunday together and I read about Whooping Cough for about an hour and pretty soon McKay was reading about it and after while we were just sitting there, evaluating every little thing Jonah did until McKay said, Ali, I really feel like he is fine.
I remember being little and worrying about things and my dad would say the same thing- I feel it is okay Ali, it's not something you need to worry about. There is something comforting about a dad telling you that things will be okay- and now I feel that with McKay.
Yesterday I took Jonah to the doctor and we sat in a corner with a blanket over the car seat while sick kids came in and out. There was a little girl with a mask on coughing and I just kept thinking, please don't come near by baby. Please please stay over there. And she did! But the doctor said that Jonah is fine. Both boys seem better today. We've been watching lots of shows and cuddling on the couch and laying around.
The other day, I was really having a hard morning with Jax- he was really wanting to watch TV, and I was so done with TV...so I brought up the "I Am A Child of God" Mormon Message on my computer. We watched it and watched it and he did not want to stop watching it. It was perfect for that moment. Tonight, we watched it again- lots and lots of times. Then we put Jax to bed around eight (daylight savings is upping our bedtime!) and for like an hour we could hear Jax just talking and singing in his crib. McKay looked at me and I said, just go get him... and so he did, but when he got to his door, he said that Jax was laying facedown, singing "I Am A Child of God." Of course, he had to get him out of his crib then! So we cuddled on the couch for another hour and then he went to bed.
This post is sort of turning into rambling about a bunch of things that don't totally connect.
And this space I am typing in now, has held a bunch of other sentences that I keep deleting because we are now getting to the part that I don't know how to write. I don't know how to write about how much I love being a mom. Or about how much has changed since Jonah came home with us. Or about how much I love my husband who does our dishes and folded like five piles of laundry tonight. And also, it's 11:03 and way past my new bedtime. But I like waking up with Jonah. The sitting-up-in-bed part is hard...but the 20-minutes-later, wide-awake-newborn-lying-next-to-you part is my favorite.
Tonight Jax kissed me on the couch over and over again because I was lying next to him. And tonight I was holding Jonah and he did a real smile looking right at me for the first time. And right now I am going to go lay next to McKay and stick our newborn in the middle of us and thank Heavenly Father for letting me be a mom and a wife because they are the two best things to be in the entire world. And the two things I will never be able to explain.