Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Me and an almost-empty bowl.

Today was not one of my best days. Today ended in a smutty tv show, a bowl of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream (and as you can see, I annoyingly missed a ball of dough), and a closed bonus room door which means husband and child are not invited in here. Yesterday Jax and I did literally nothing. Nothing. I went to bed in the same thing I woke up in. I didn't wash my face, I DID brush my teeth! But it was just one of those days. One of those days that you do so little, you just feel blah. So I thought today would be great because I had grocery shopping to do and I was going to find some pinecones for my fall centerpiece and then the missionaries were coming over for dinner. But then this morning, Jax became just insane. Or I did. I can't tell these days. Either he is being extra naughty or I am saying a lot of extra "no's,"- but either way it makes for a really grumpy mom and a really frustrated child. Sometimes it just seems like he truly tries to do only the things he isn't supposed to. But are those the only things I notice? I don't know. See, it's so confusing. And really confusing when you are sore, tired, sore, fat, and SORE. Your thinking just only goes so far. So today was a lot of Jax! Nooooooo. Sprinkled with a few moments of Jax come here, cuddle mommy, do you just need attention? Mommy loves you. I'm sorry mommy is mean. Is mommy being mean? I love you. So the conclusion of today was really just up in the air for a good 13 hours. Unfortunately it ended with McKayyy! Put him in his bed! I kept him up this entire day with no nap and I am ready...IT'S TIME FOR HIM TO GO TO BED. And a screaming child and a husband on our bed because he was not invited to watch Real Housewives with me.

But since I've been in here, I've done a lot of thinking. And I think I came up with the perfect way to explain to McKay exactly yet again why my mood is sooooo...um. not ideal? And it includes a lot of words like pregnant. tired. hurting. crazy. child. Jax. screaming. all. day. cleaning. dinner. exhausted....
BUT lucky for McKay...I hear silence out there...so I think he is already asleep.
In the morning when I wake up, I will either: 1. feel the same feelings and I will know I was justified OR 2. I will not feel the same feelings, have no need to explain them, maybe feel the need to apologize, and know I was crazy.

either way...goodnight blog!

P.S. ending on a happy note, baby has the hiccups!!

1 comment:

  1. your life. :)
    i love reading it - does that sound weird?
    i've said this to you before, but it bares repeating: i love your honesty! <3
    here's to hoping you got a restful nights sleep!


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