Thinking

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Ugh. We have been sick for a month. McKay took me to get antibiotics on Sunday so hopefully this will all go away soon. My whole family has had sinus infections, strep and ear infections. It's been pretty gross around here.

I keep looking at my house and getting giddy about giving it a huge scrub down EVERYWHERE when we're all better. I am so excited. I hate the muggy, gross feeling in my house when everyone is sick. I can't wait to clean the bathrooms, wash everything, vacuum, Clorox every surface. I CAN'T WAIT.

It's hard being a mom when you are sick. I don't mean it's hard having to take care of a baby when you don't feel good yourself, I mean that I feel really guilty. I keep looking at Jax and thinking, I should be taking him on a walk, I should be reading to him, I should be dancing around and singing to him, I bet he is getting sick of his same toys, is the sound of the TV going to slow his development?


I actually asked my mom about that last one yesterday. She gave me some really good advice...to stop worrying about everything. She said that if I was anxious mom than I would have an anxious baby, so I am going to work on that. Most of the time Jax is awake, I just hold him or lay next to him and look at him. It's unreal that you can love someone this much. About a week after Jax was born McKay and I drove through a little town and stopped in a store where we fell in love with this little sign that said "A child fills a place in your heart that you never knew was empty." It's true, SO true.

I keep getting this feeling that I can't get enough of Jax. I hold him as tight as I can and just inhale him. He is getting bigger and so much more active, so I love the moments when he is a little tired or a little fussy, and just wants to cuddle on mom. Those are the best. It is so fun to watch him grow. Just in the last couple weeks he has been grabbing things. He is still working on rolling over...and his dad is coming up with new ideas all the time that will get him to roll over...haha. McKay is convinced that Jax NEEDS to walk at nine months, because he did...we'll see. Or he may just walk at 15 months like his mom.

McKay has been a trooper with all the sickness. He has been sick too and is doing most everything around here. When I'm sick, I'm kind of a nag. Yesterday was one of those days... but McKay still comes home from work, hugs me, smiles, and twirls me in my bathrobe. haha. I love my husband.

And I am SO excited for the holidays. I can't wait for Thursday. There is nothing more fun than being all together as a family. My grandpa and I have had some good talks lately about family and about how there is nothing more important. It's true! Nothing is. I love my family.

My mom made Jared the best cake for his birthday!

Those eyelashes and lips...