"Mowmm STOWP tawlkinggg."

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AHHHH! I am so behind. I keep waiting for a serene moment where my brain can think freely, but it is just not happening. Jonah is sound asleep on our bed and Jax is leaning against my knee watching cartoons and I am thinking...this is about as serene as it's gonna get! This week is about to be insanity. Tomorrow McKay's family is coming and then Thanksgiving and then Jonah's baby blessing on Sunday and I have yet to clean our house. I was sitting downstairs after going to Costco this morning thinking, why clean? Seriously. Why? Because when people come here I try (TRY) to turn the OCD off and pretend that I totally let my kid eat muffins running around the kitchen and other things like that...so honestly, what is the point?   Actually, last time McKay's family was here we got into a tiny little argument about muffin crumbs. After everyone had gone upstairs, it was just me in the kitchen. I had bought Costco muffins for everyone and someone had given Jax a chocolate muffin that he had been running around the kitchen with. Literally- crumbs EVERYWHERE. I died a little...just a LITTLE your guys. But enough that I think I got down on my hands and knees and calmly swept them up with with my hands, just quietly. But then McKay came down...just at the wrong time. And so I obviously vented. I probably said, McKay, look at this. Look at our floor. I am kind of going crazy. And then guess what he said, he told me to chilllllllll. CHILL. The most annoying thing you can say. So instantly the overused-but-completely-true words entered my mind that are You have nooooooooo idea how long it takes to clean this house. Serioulsy. McKay. Don't tell me to "chill." And then the kitchen got very tense. And before the situation got really angry and awkward, I had a hilarious idea. there was a half-eated (turned brown) banana on the counter (seriously, I am so chill) and I got an awesome idea. You know how when you are in college, cooking with your boyfriend and you start a food fight? It's really funny and fun and then you kiss and laugh afterward? Well, that was my idea. So I grabbed the banana and I threw it at McKay. Except McKay didn't kiss me or laugh. He was shocked. And then he put his foot on top of the banana on the floor and squished it onto our linoleum. Then he walked upstairs. So not what I had planned. After that I just waited. I waited to hear footsteps on the stairs, because even though my husband would squish a rotten banana onto our floor, he would never actually leave me with it. Then he came back and cleaned up the banana.

So I think I will not clean my whole house today. 

Okay so the pictures of Jax up there....the pictures of the cute, sweet, very loving little boy who this whole weekend has been screaming and hitting and telling us to "STOWP TAWLKING..." Honestly this past weekend, McKay and I were so frustrated. Every time we think we have mastered a phase he goes through, there is another one that we are not prepared for. And they progressively get kind of worse. We love our Jaxers. He holds my face when I lay down with him and his little hand pats our backs when we hug him and he sings church songs in the back of the car. But OH MY GOSH...just lately. So yesterday after church, McKay put him down for a nap (which, went so smoothly!) and I made cookies in the kitchen while McKay read Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. And then we discussed what he read. And we learned that we needed to look at Jax in a different perspective...No, we don't have a child who talks back. We have a child who is "expressive." No, we don't have a child who doesn't listen...we have a child who is "strong willed." Lollll I am half-joking obviously. And I think back to some of my Parenting Prep class lessons and sometimes feel like, okay, seriously...do you child psychologists actually HAVE a two-year-old right now?? And you guys, I know that a lot of it is right. But really, what do you do when you have a sleeping baby in the backseat and your two-year-old is unbuckling himself and screaming at the top of his lungs just for fun? hahaha. Oh well. WE LOVE YOU JAX. We really do. Sorry that your dad and I are kind of winging it! We have no idea what we're doing. And if you are older and reading this, just know that you make us smile every day. You have the cutest eyes in the world and are so thoughtful and yesterday you looked at my outfit (leggings and a huge shirt) and said "aww..tuute mom." Also, last week you were crying in your bed for a long time, so I went in there and got on your bed with you and we just hugged forever. Then we laid down with our faces next to each other and we put our hands on each other's cheeks. It was was one of my favorite moments in my whole life. You have this new thing you do too. Every time you fall down you say "sawy mom." And you are the best big brother in the world to Jonah. I keep reading about big brothers and sisters saying mean things or doing mean things to their baby brothers or sisters...but you would NEVER do anything mean to Jonah. You always take care of him. Last week you got hurt and were crying- but then Jonah started crying too. Even though you were hurt, you started crying "Jonahhhhh!!" You were so worried about him, that you didn't even care that you were hurt. Every morning, you kiss him on his face and you hold his hand, and every night you hug him before you go to bed. And almost every time he cries, you go find him to tell him "it's okay, Jonah." Tomorrow you and mommy are going on a date. I think you need it. You are so used to having mom all to yourself and now you have to share- so we are going to get ice cream and play at the park. We're leaving Jonah with grandma. And I promise I won't say one word about "listening."