It's 11:26 and way past my (new!) bedtime, but I've been meaning to write for days. Somehow though, whenever I have extra time, it seems like I am collecting dirty diapers to chuck out the garage door (sorry McKay) or rushing to my bed to get a couple hours of sleep before Jonah wakes up. But Jax is asleep now and I just put a drowsy baby boy down next to his daddy, so I think I have a good five minutes to quickly document- in summary- these first couple weeks.
And of course, now I keep writing sentences and deleting them because I have no idea where to start- but for the sake of my sleep- I'll just ramble a little here. The first couple weeks have been perfect (can I say that on this blog? This blog that I have tried so hard to be honest on- and not flowery and fake?) but it's really how I feel. My grandma has said, holding Jonah "this is what heaven must be like." And I totally agree- except I keep looking at Jax and Jonah and thinking- nothing can ever be this good. Never. Not even heaven. We spend a lot of time on the couch. We hold Jonah and talk to him and read books together and serioulsy have probably watched "Up" like 20 times. I'M NOT LYING. And I have a very strict schedule now. Newborns and big brothers who like to "hold" baby brothers (and are daring enough to actually carry newborn brother to their mom...YA.) require strict schedules. So every morning I try to get up before McKay goes to work. Because then I shower while both of the boys are still sleeping. Then I hurry and pick up the house from the night before. Then Jax
andddddd Jonah is awake...
THEN Jax wakes up, so I feed him and then usually I stick them both in the bath. Two in every three baths that Jonah takes with Jax, Jonah goes #2 in the bath. So then I hurry and finish Jax (before it spreads, which I do 50% of the time) and then I bathe Jonah Ecuador baby style. Ecuador baby style is when you literally stick their bums under the faucet and you scrub the poop off with your bare hands. It's quick and efficient and it makes me feel like even more of a mom and I like it. You get used to it with other people's babies after like two times, and with your own baby- who cares! I mean, it's your baby! After baths we hang out and cuddle and take turns holding Jonah. Once in a while we go to the grocery store, and once in a LONG while, I make dinner. I think it has only happened once so far. When McKay gets home, we usually each take a kid. The only time we have to "dibs" a certain kid is when someone has to feed Jax dinner- and during that time we usually fight over who gets Jonah. And usually it's me- I just get really close to him and talk and there's only one person in this family who can nurse! Tonight I lost though- I had to feed Jax.
Jax always says that we have "two babies." And we do- Jax is still such a little baby. Everyone told me that he would seem so big to me when Jonah was born, and he doesn't. He is still so little. McKay and I usually each have a baby- but somehow, having so much less (as in none) "us" time has made "us" so much stronger. Every night we have these little moments where we look at each other and one of us will say "this is the best." And really, these are the days that I wish could just play over and over and over for eternity. My mom says that she would never want to go backwards, but I think she just doesn't remember what having a two-year-old and a newborn feels like. Because this is seriously the best.
Oh and I have to give credit to the thing that gets me and Jax through sleep-deprived, attention- deprived, or frustrating times:
Has anyone had these things from Costco?! Holy cow.