I have an appointment on Thursday at noon, so we'll see! Hopefully he will just send me right down to floor four to Labor and Delivery. Fingers crossed. And I really don't believe in fingers crossed...sooooooo....prayers!
Today while McKay was home for lunch, he looked at Jax and said to me, "I am really excited for this next stage." I asked what he meant and he just talked about Jax growing up and being interested in different things (like superheroes- he got a Batman costume today). And I don't know why, but it kind of hit me- Jax is going to be a big brother. He won't be the baby anymore. I don't know if that has completely hit me yet- he will always be my baby- but he won't be the very littlest and that feels really weird. But at the same time, totally right! It makes no sense, I know. I guess I just feel like now I will have two babies. I just never want to look at Jax and mistakenly not see a baby. You know what I mean? I feel like that happens a lot. You have this tiny newborn, and all of a sudden, your two-year-old looks huge. And your toddler is expected to do a lot more than his little two-year-old self is used to. But Jax still has chubby arms and furry shoulders and looks up at me every day and says, "Mommy, hold juuuu!" So now I will just have two babies. I still can't even imagine holding a newborn. Tiny feet and tiny toes and a tiny bum that goes way up in the air when you pick them up and they're stretching (that was always one of my favorite things). But the thing I am still the very most excited about is putting our newborn baby boy into our two-year-old baby boy's arms. What feeling could even begin to compare to that?!