Supposedly, my uterus is the size of a "grapefruit."
Today is an "okay" day. It seems like Wednesdays are like that. My pattern has been- sick at the beginning of the week and a little better at the end. This week has been the same. Monday and Tuesday were terrible. I was glued to the couch all day and watched the clock until 10pm when they day was officially over. When I'm not pregnant, the days seem to go by so fast. I watch Jax growing and the hours in the day fly by and I just want time to stop, but not. right. now. I want time to GO. go go go and keep going.
On Monday I had to make a grocery list for McKay. It was terrible. I was actually crying because I wanted to gag thinking about food. McKay came up and saw that I had googled "pregnancy grocery list" and felt really bad for me so then I cried some more. What it is about other people realizing how pathetic you are that makes situations so much more emotional? I finally made a tiny list and wrote: cucumbers, almonds, apples, granola, dried mangoes, fruit leather, cinnamon raisin bread, top ramen, and I think that's about it. So far, I have eaten little testers of each thing and I don't yet hate any of it.
My mom came to get Jax today. I think he needs to be able to just go play sometimes. I have become so much more chill. I feel no guilt. The old me would think that I need to use this time to clean the rings in my toilets, but no. The new, two-kid me couldn't care less. I just rest. Currently, I am watching Friends and writing this post. The funny thing is that I feel like Jax has gotten even more attached to me now that I just sit on the couch. I think it's because all day, we just spend time together. We eat our breakfast and snacks side-by-side on the couch, we read, we watch movies, we watch Baby Boost, and we talk. Jax used to always cry when McKay left after his break to go back to work. But now he never does. Maybe it's because he has my attention all day long. I have learned a lot of things on this couch.
I am also reading a book right now: The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks. SO GOOD. Last night, I read about 60 pages and could not put it down. I think I might finish it today (but probably not).
I am also craving a Butterfinger Blizzard...so weird.