Friday, February 1, 2013


A few days ago, McKay said to me,

"Don't you think Jax has already gone through his terrible-twos? I don't think he will go through terrible twos."

And then this week happened.

And now it's Friday. And i'm sitting on our couch exhausted, letting Jax watch nursery rhymes on On Demand, and it's only 11:06. Oh and I fed him a granola bar and a banana for breakfast. 

I am. just. done. 
For this week. 

All moms have weeks like this right? The weeks where you say "no" more than any other word. The weeks where you finish dinner and seriously leave your husband in the kitchen with your child, saying "feed him," as you run upstairs to sit on the couch alone. The weeks where when your baby pulls a plate of brownies off the counter, you actually just let him sit there and eat it, because it means he will stay in one place. The weeks when you give your kid a haircut, and he won't sit still, so you literally just grab chunks and cut it, hoping that it will be even...without the patience to just wait till later...because sentimentality at that point is gone and you are finally ready to chop that mullet off.
And the weeks where you say lots and lots of curse words in your mind. And one out loud. 

Calm down mom, he didn't hear it.

And those weeks where you tried. You really did. Like during a trip to the grocery store, accompanied by screaming and crying, you calmly took your baby to the art aisle and got him some paints. And when he was still screaming, you understandably opened the thing of toilet paper and box of fruit roll-ups sitting in your cart to wipe his nose and fill his belly.

And then at home, you let him play with his paints, and took lots of photos, and smiled and admired his first little watercolor. After which, he crumpled it and threw it on the kitchen floor.

Or the weeks where you actually have to stop writing your blog post because your child just went #2 in his diaper and literally pulled it off right in front of you while you were typing. So you take a break to stick him in the bath, and scrub everything off of his bum and legs with your bare hands. Which doesn't even phase you. Because it is not the first time you have had to do that this week.
(this actually just happened.)

And here is the brownie incident.

And here's the haircut.

And during those weeks you feel guilty and tired. And in short, calm moments at the end of the day you hold your baby and say Sorry buddy, mommy will be nicer tomorrow. I promise I will. And you tuck him in to bed and he kisses you sweetly and you feel terrible.
But then the next day is a ruthless repeat of the one before and you aren't nicer.

So Jax, if you're reading this when you're 18 and you are saying to yourself, this is proof that my mom has always been crazy, just remember: First that I love you. Second, that I am trying to be more patient. Third, that I wouldn't change one thing about you. ever. And fourth, you are our entire world and you always will be. Even when that world is filled with smooshed bananas, watercolor paint, brownie crumbs, snot, swipes of frosting on our chairs and on my camera bag, chewed-up-spit-out food, and poop.

P.S. Hi McKay! I'm going shopping today!


  1. You are such a good Mom no matter the situation. :) I love his new haircut.

  2. Your honesty is so totally refreshing. Good luck with the hard days :) You seem like a great mom!

  3. my favorite post.

    and the PS was beyond amazing.

  4. That PS was about the best thing I've heard all week LOL love it!

    You are such a wonderful momma, and your little man Jax looks just like McKay I think!

  5. well, thank you for the honesty.
    It feels good to relate when it's 10am here & I've already had that 'I'm done.' moment for the day.
    So, Seth is having his nap early & I'm buying something online for myself haha goodness..
    some days are just harder than others!

  6. I have a had a few weeks like with Liam. It is harder than you ever could have imagined. I really didn't think toddlers could be so testing. They look WAY too sweet and innocent. Just this last week Liam broke a kitchen drawer, colored on the walls, climbed out of his crib, and learned to open doors. They constantly find something new to make life hard. Still love him to pieces though and he makes me laugh everyday. Know you are not alone in "the promising to be more patient and nicer the next day." Keep doing your best. I love reading your blog especially when I see this! :)

  7. He is such a perfect mixture of you two. He looks just like you guys!!

    You are an amazing mom, Ali! I can just tell. Keep up the good work. You're doing fantastic, don't get discouraged!!

  8. yes girl, we ALL have weeks like that. No worries, he knows you are doing your best, and when he's 18 he will look back and feel like the luckiest kid in the world! keep it up, you got this and enjoy shopping!!

  9. oh my! I got tired just by reading all this! I really hope you went shopping, you deserve it girl!
    have a great weekend!
    love the photos! that face!

  10. You're adorable! Go shopping and get those adorable Valentine's bowls!

  11. Ali, if anyone can do it, you can! Also, if anyone deserves a nice break, it's you! Have fun shopping and know your little monster loves you back. :) He is so adorable!


  12. Ali I am right there with you! I made the hubs let me go to target by myself and I just walked around for an hour. Shopping always makes it better! Well that and a large glass of wine...and maybe chocolate cake too:) keep it up you are a GREAT mom:)

  13. sounds like you need a very large glass of wine...or a very large glass of hard liquor : ) hope next week goes better!

  14. This is why I love your blog. This is REAL mom stuff:) not the whole "oh, i love my little peanut so much and all our days are fun and perfect and happy" seriously, I have days like this too! It can be so hard. But at the end of they day, they're just perfect little babies and you have shopping to make you feel better.

  15. I feel you, Ali. I am not looking forward to these kinds of things for the next (year? two?), but I am learning how to be patient. I'm reading a book called "unglued" about controlling raw emotions in moments where you lose your patience--and I'm really enjoying it. :) happy weekend!

  16. but but but but he's so cuuuuuute! have a good weekend, lady, recharge your batteries and take some time to do you. Jax will probably think when he grows up, "my mom was so cool she let me eat a whole plate of brownies, paint, and gave me an awesome fauxhawk!"

  17. i have SO had weeks like that and joonbugs isn't even a toddler yet! there have been days where dave walks in the door and i'm near-tears and i just hand a whining joony to him and say, "i'm done for a couple minutes." and then david's so excited to see joony after being at work all day that it makes me fee like a bad mom.

    wish i was close enough to go shopping with you!

  18. I think his hair looks great :) I hope I can handle motherhood with the same grace you do when I have children. You seem to always be able to see the reasons you'll appreciate these moments later. Even if you don't enjoy them now.

  19. I feel you on everything!!! I have a lot of those weeks!!! Your doing great tho and fins comfort your not the only one!!

  20. Sounds crazy! His hair looks cute though! =)

  21. Ali, you paint the most realistic picture of motherhood and I love it. I hope you have an easier week and Jax is lucky to have a mama like you!

  22. you are amazing. seriously. i love how you are so real, but your love for jax always always always shines through. he's a lucky little fellow. :)

  23. ::hugs:: if i lived near you i would come babysit and force you out of the house! :)
    It's ok, normal even, to have those proves that your'e human.
    As always Ali, i'm inspired and encouraged by the honesty of your post! <3


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