Monday, December 10, 2012

The Combo

You know those couples that seem just meant for each other? 
Everything about them is the same- the music they like, the way they dress, their humor, the way they talk, their favorite foods, etc. etc. etc. And when they meet, their two worlds [very easily] collide and they look at each other and say "We are exactly the same. You are my other half."
Me and McKay weren't like that.
And oddly enough, this hat is totally part of that story.

Once upon a time, I was a little college girl- whose dreams (if you could call it that) were about to come true. For forever I had wanted to help with the blood drive at our school- for some reason, people who worked at blood drives were so cool to me (???). So I worked and worked until I got to do it and then I had to go to this meeting with all the other kids who we helping with stuff around campus.
I was walking up the stairs to the room- and two boys were behind me- laughing and asked where the room was for the service thing. I pointed and told them and kept going. And to make a long story (for another time) short, one of them was McKay and we fell in love and got engaged about three months after that. And before I say this next thing, I need to say that he truly was (and is) my best friend in the entire world. 

But we were totally different.

I remember one time, sitting in his apartment while his sister was was practicing for a concert thing at school. She was singing a Bon Iver song. And as she was singing, one person was drumming on something. And I was sitting there thinking, I don't get this. And McKay, next to me, was getting chills- just loving it. And I was doing everything I could to harness my deeper, more poetic self, and I just couldn't. I just didn't get it. 
Sometimes they would have basketball-watching nights. Girls and boys would both be there and even the girls would cheer. And one time I actually tried to fit in and said "Oh, the the Celtics are playing!" And it was the Cavaliers.
And that was the same night as the dustpan night.
Not a good night.

And there were lots of other things I didn't get- like YouTube videos that weren't funny to me, or how McKay didn't like dessert, or just other dumb, little things.

But, at the same time, I always looked at McKay like he was this older- so much cooler- guy...who I was so lucky to be with, and who I wanted to be like. And we were so in love with each other. But you would think that by the time you get married, you and your fiance would have combined a lot of interests, but we still hadn't.

So there we were, on our honeymoon.
We had gone to the Oregon Coast to just be together and focus on each other and we came across this tiny strip-mall thing. And at the strip mall, there was a Zumiez. And McKay loved Zumiez back then, so we went in. And suddenly, I felt out-of-place and I wanted to change. I was wearing this outfit:

(not the same day, but same shirt and cardigan). 

And I felt like an old lady. I thought why am I wearing a cardigan?! I am 20 years old. And so I grabbed some (really inappropriately) skinny jeans and a graphic shirt and two beanies- and I booked it into the dressing room. And when I came out, I kinda liked it. So we bought two pairs of inappropriate skinny jeans, two beanies, and one graphic tee.

And then I never wore any of it, except the beanies. 
Because I liked them. 

So, this beanie is special. Because it's the very first tangible item I have that represents a merge, besides my engagement ring, obviously. But an engagement ring says 'I don't care where we came from, how we grew up, or what we like, I love you and I want to be with your forever.' And this beanie says, 'I am becoming more like you.'

And I'm sitting here thinking is this the dumbest post I have ever written on here?

But it's important, because I think some of us grow up thinking that our happily-ever-afters will come from finding the person who is exactly like we are. And it's so much more fun when they don't.

And throughout our marriage, we have learned, and fought, and laughed and fell more and more in love. And we have learned to compromise with each other:

girls nights

acoustic concerts


BSU games

(which McKay now loves, btw)

And the VERY BEST part is having a real combo of our very own

who likes beanies.


  1. I loved this post! So sweet. My hubby and I are definitely quite opposite too. Works for us. :) I also converted J to country music. :)

  2. this is such a wonderful post!!! definitely not a dumb one in any way. so sweet and endearing and a wonderful reminder. i think about this all the time and sometimes will start to wish i was, say, more into sports so i could root for the same teams he does, or that i was able to speak the other language that he can, on and on and on. but then i remember that the reason we all fall in love is for the person - not for them being exactly like us. thank you for such a great reminder! and those pictures! the face mask? the crafts? amazing. and your little one there at the bottom? holy moly my. the sweetest. xo

  3. How cute is this post! You two seem so good together. My fiance and I are too, nothing alike. But somehow it works. What I am familiar with, he isn't and vice versa. We introduce each other to new things (even 9 years later). Maybe ying and yang had something to it ;)

  4. Haha this is such a cute post. I love how it all comes full circle to the beanie on the little guy.

  5. Such a great post! Being a newlywed (June of this year) the hubs and I are finding out that it is perfectly okay to NOT have to be identical. If he was identical to me I doubt I would have married him!! Just the other day I was walking into church with my coffee...he is utterly opposed to bringing coffee to church bc his parents ALWAYS told him that church was not a time for sipping coffee...they think you need to be 100% engaged in the sermon. I was quick to tell him that I love him very much, but me bringing my coffee into church did not mean I was going to be sitting back reading a magazine as if I were in Starbucks...we talked and realized that this is our life and our marriage and we will both bring bits and pieces from our upbringing into the mix...the mix...bc that is what marriage is. A happy mix :) Love this post and LOVE the first pic of you smiling :))

  6. Very cute story! I'm loving his expression in the crafts picture - he looks thrilled! Haha

  7. love this post! i can totally relate, my hubs and i are different in a ton of ways. we like the same music though (that has always been super important to me..weird? maybe. but i could not commit a life to someone who loves rap, ha. indie rock or bust!) i think it's great to have different interests, otherwise what would you talke about? you can't like allll the time stuff. that would just be boring! that last pic is too good! adorable!

  8. Ali, I am always so mesmerized when I read your posts, I feel like I'm right there watching it all happen and it warms my heart! Is that weird to say? Oh well. I love this post, I think it's important for couples to have their differences but that beanie is also rather cute on you too! <3


    I miss you. Let's hang out, yo.

  10. this could be the cutest blog post i've taken the time to read. i love it! y'all are adorable, the pic of your hubby doing crafts and wearing a facial made me laugh so hard, and how could i ignore your cutie in a beanie! too darn adorable!

    C's Evolution of Style

  11. Ali I love how you write - it's down to earth and the truth and I feel like I know you. What you said is all so true about differences and similarities and combos and compromises. It all makes you a stronger couple.

  12. I love this post:) my husband and I are the same way!!!

  13. this post is so good! jonah and i are like this in many ways :)

  14. ali you have such a talent! i love your blog. i can relate to you almost all the time!! you have the cutest family and are so real. i love it.

  15. This might just be one of my favorite posts from you, Ali!

    Funny enough, I've been considering writing on the same thing. It being Christmas card time of year, I've been thinking so much on all these couples whose styles seem to merge just perfectly with each other. Tim and I couldn't be more different when it comes to the way we dress ... and so many other things. But it's as it should be! Who wants to be exactly the same, anyway? ;)

  16. Love your jean on jean outfit! Also this post is so cute! A perfect example of how sometimes opposites attract :) Also is that The Band Perry in the country photo??

  17. Gosh what a wonderful post.
    You are a fabulous writer/story teller.

  18. So cute! Love your style and the way you write!

    kinda a random question...but how do you do your makeup? you seem the same complexion as me and you look so good!


  19. This post is absolutely awesome! :)

  20. I absolutely love this! Its good to know it can work. Anthony and I have a few common interests, and we're starting to have more, but we're pretty far apart on most things.

  21. oh my goodness, this is one of the cutest posts ever. you guys are so great, I love everything about this!

  22. This is not a weird post, omg its like the cutest thing ever. Seriously, let me just get this out there-- you two are a smokin hot couple. Can I say that? Ha! Second... I think its beautiful when two people who are polar opposites find love in each other :) its so great.

  23. You have the GREATEST stories!!

  24. Aaaawww I loved reading this! I've always wondered more about your story together, and wow you guys were engaged 3 months after you met! My boyfriend and are I super different too so I enjoyed reading this. Nice to know that two really different people can get married and get along just fine. That beanie story is really funny though, and hey, that beanie is really stylish still! Thanks for sharing Ali!

    perfectly priya

  25. ohhh girl, i LOVE this post!
    you're so right about not having identical interests...
    my hubby and i couldn't be more different, but that's what makes it fun!
    (and boy have i learned so much after being football plays, and, well, everything sports related. haha)

  26. This is the cutest post! Great intro had my 100% attention....and the rest of the post was totally not what I expected...which made me love it even more:)! Thank you for this life lesson!

  27. i love this post....and it is not dumb in the slightest. You tell it like it is, and aren't afraid to say "hey, we don't always fit" and that is LIFE and NORMAL and GOOD! <3
    And uhhh..The Band Perry...JEALOUS MUCH!?! sooo jealous right now.
    Love the beanie too...perfect merge moment!

  28. Love it! Girl rock that beanie! And Jax looks adorable!


  29. i thought this was the sweetest post!! mark and i are not at all like eachother at all, haha :)

  30. That is soooo cute!!! They do say that opposites attract ;)


  31. This post is ADORABLE! You guys are cute. Love the craft picture! Ha. That's me and my husband!

  32. What a cute post!! You guys are just adorable!!

  33. Ali, you are like my mommy or a big sister in this blogosphere. Your comments always make me so happy :) but especially the last one - it was so encouraging. thank you :) *BIG HUG*

    and this post is're such a good writer. I always think of you when I try to write elegantly on my blog. It just doesn't work x_x
    This is such a sweet story about you and your hubby and I literally said d'awwwwww at the end xD
    and that "crafts" picture is hilarious. hahahaha xD


    1. You are so sweet Kei! Thank you so much. :) Your comments always make me so happy too :)

  34. nice blog. follow you

  35. i was about to comment about the crafts pic an saw that L already did. but seriously, HIS FACE hahahaha. david would look exactly the same if we had a crafting night.

    LOVE THIS!! how boring would it be to be married to someone who liked all the same things as you?!

  36. this is so sweet. robbie & i have stories like this too. honestly, when we started dating, i thought "how is this going to work? he is totally not my type." but then there are little moments like this that change you…both of you. and that's the space where relationships and love really start. : )

    …p.s. that beanie looks totally cute on you!

  37. I loved this post! Especially the part with Jax at the end :) my husband and I couldn't be anymore different- in fact I think people were shocked when they found out we were dating. However he is a great balance of opposite for me and I would go crazy if I married someone exactly like me. I think this post is one of my favorites!

  38. Aaaaaawwww..... This is such a sweet post!!!! Love it!!!!


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