Ali W.

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I read my last post and I almost deleted it- but in an effort to preserve transparency and realness, I think I need to keep it. That post was written during a long (LONG) weekend. This week, school started, the never-ending laundry pile on my bed got a little smaller, and I have gotten to be in my own little house with my own little family for three days straight so far. Kind of like a dream. Kind of like heaven. This summer has been full of family, fun, and never-ending things to do. Almost every aspect of my life that gives me some grounding and rejuvenation was a little strained. There was just a lot of stuff. A lot of places to be. A lot of people to be with. McKay is an extrovert and thrives like that. I am the opposite. It felt a little like things would never get back to normal but this week I found myself hustling around our downstairs doing normal boring stuff and feeling so stinking happy and I thought to myself, oh that's right...this is what this feels like. And it occurred to me in an instant that I was literally in the middle of normal life. A kid at school, two at home, a house to clean, a healthy body, no doctor appointments coming up, MY HAIR IN A PONYTAIL (with 14 bobby pink..but STILL). Sidenote: my hair has been such a struggle this summer. Last year at this time, I could not care less about my hair. I wanted my life. Now I want my hair a little bit too! So two weekends ago when I finally pulled it back into a ponytail I took a huge leap back to feeling like me again. I don't think I'll ever be the same- not totally. But there's just something about having a mullet that really makes me frustrated sometimes. It's like that last piece of the puzzle that I need to fit into place. The last thing that doesn't feel normal yet.

I was thinking today again about when Jonah was a baby. I go back to that time in my life so often. The year Jonah was born was my very favorite year of my whole entire life. I think I can have a new favorite year though. The night before school started, McKay gave all the boys father's blessings. He always gives me one too. He said in mine that this would be one of my favorite years with my little family. I didn't think about that much until now, but it gives me hope and makes me really excited for this year.

Jax was so excited for school the last month of the summer. Then the days before, he got a little nervous. He didn't have class with his best friend, but the day before school started, we went to his open house and he found a bunch of friends in his class. The morning of the first day, he knew exactly what he wanted to wear. He picked out his shirt, and we all walked to school together. We saw so many friend on the way. I love our little community. There are four first graders, just in our little cul de sac! I love it and I never want to leave. We got to school and found people he knew and was off! Even when he is timid, he will push himself to be in the middle of things. I know he is going to do great this year. He came home from school saying it was "so fun" and that this teacher is so much better than his kindergarten teacher! hahaha. Then all the cute kiddos played in the cul de sac until it was dark outside (they did the same thing tonight- broke our umbrella by playing "umbrella capture the flag"). Jonah starts school next week and can't wait to go!