Sometimes when people come up to me to encourage me and compliment me on how I'm handling this trial, I feel like kind of a fraud. I usually just say "thank you," but really what I really want to say (and have started to say it) is, "I'm handling it like this because of the Gospel." This really isn't me. The natural me would worry, stress about the future, be angry that I have to go through this, scroll through Instagram and feel jealous of seemingly-perfect lives, feel overwhelmed. But I don't. I have heard all my life that the Savior could carry my burdens, but was never so dependent on that truth as I am now. I thought it was the belief that in the end, all would be well in the eternities. That faith in that alone would help me endure-come what may. But what's available to us is much more specific. Because the Savior suffered for us individually. So what does "burdens carried" look like for me? For me, right now, it means that from the beginning of this, I had a strong impression that I will not die. Not for one second have I been afraid of death. When that possibility comes to my mind I feel reassurance in the opposite outcome. That's not me. It means that someone who cares a lot about her physical appearance, was completely okay with going totally bald. That wasn't me. It means that though my baby plans were totally swiped off the table for a few years, and still are kind of complicated, I feel excited about my "new path." Definitely not me. The Savior knows how to help just me. Just like He knows just how to help each of us.
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