Tuesday, November 27, 2012

1, 2, 3


1. Exhale. Okay. We are trying to stop nursing over here. I have a plan- Jax needs to stop nursing by the beginning of December. Then my milk has to dry up (McKay is literally gagging reading this, I'm sure). Then I have to get a mammogram (I'll explain). Then, we are going on a cruise in February. And I CANNOT get pregnant until after or on (TMI?) the cruise. Two years ago, while pregnant with Jax, we took an unlovely vaca on a cruise where I spent most of my time in the boat hospital in the care of a doctor from Africa (or something) getting IV's and shots in my bum. Also, on the fancy night- which is my favorite night- I had to be wheeled in a wheelchair in my pj's past all the people in sequins and gowns down to the infirmary while my mom screamed "Don't worry! She's just pregnant!" Terrible. But we really are ready- and we talk about it all the time, and Jax needs a sibling and we have that feeling. So until the cruise, we will heed my mom's advice/plea to not "play with fire." This paragraph truly is just brimming with TMI.

2. I guess I just tangent-ed, but back to the nursing thing...I have to stop. But it's so hard- because I keep looking at myself holding him in the mirror and picturing him as this 18-year-old and I feel like nursing is this bond we have that I will never get back. And it feels like the end of something so special. And to make it worse, Jax begs for it. He cries and throws fits and he sits on my lap and gets into position and just looks up at me.

3. The mammogram explanation: A bunch of the girls in my family have a breast cancer gene called BRCA. It puts us at a high risk for breast cancer, so while I am in my early 20's, I have to have a "base mammogram" so in later years, they can tell if anything looks like it's growing in there. Anyways- nothing to worry about. Early prevention/detection is the important thing. So get your ta-ta's checked, girls!

4. Last night I was lying in bed next to McKay, who was, by the way, coding (?) on his computer. I was going through pictures and I came across this:


And I said awwwwwwww oh my goshhhhh Mckayyyyyyy look at this!! And he looked at it and said, "oh. hah." But this is one of my favorite pictures ever of Jax. His little face!

28 comments:

  1. how old is mr. jax? just thinking about not nursing joony anymore makes me so so sad!!! i can only imagine how hard it would be, especially since he still wants to. seriously, though, a cruise with just my husband sounds like a dream...a dream that will never come true. hahaha. good luck!!

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    1. He's 16 months :( it really is SO HARD. and we are only stopping because we feel like it's time to start trying again. But the cruise is with the entire fam! So Jax will be there! haha

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    2. have you thought about nursing jax through a second pregnancy and then tandem nursing? sorry, this is all super personal, ignore me if you want :) i just want to nurse all my babies at the same time until they leave for college!!!! (jk) (kind of)

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    3. No! You are totally fine! I love mom talks like this! I would definitely just nurse during a pregnancy if I could, but to get a mammogram, I have to be completely dried up. That's the main reason. But the other reason is that I got really really sick when I was pregnant with Jax- like puking all day, lots of IV's, in the ER a couple times, and I lost a TON of weight. I was sick for most of the pregnancy. And with nursing I haven't been able to gain weight at all- which is nice right now- but might be kinda scary if I got super sick again. I am so jealous of girls who can tandem nurse!

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  2. I haven't had kids yet but I never thought of nursing as such a bond you create with your kids and letting that go would be the hard part. I've heard your 'suppose' do it for 6 months and that's it, but reading your post I can see why mothers continue on...aww..good luck with your decisions!!

    Good for you getting a mammogram each year...my friend has that gene and her mother had breast cancer so she gets a mamogram each year! It's better to know than wonder! =)

    Ergo - Blog

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  3. Aww a cruise! FUN!! And ahha "just brimming with TMI" - love you, girl!!! I am 1 million % with you on the early detection!!! SO important! My mom has breast cancer, and although I don't technically have that gene, I'm still definitely very aware and more at risk just because of it. So. Way to raise awareness. And good luck with your baby stuff! ;) I've definitely got the baby fever myself..

    xo

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  4. You are so honest, and I love it. No such thing as TMI... okay maybe there is, but in this case... not at all. You are just fine!! Your little guy is SO cute!! I can't even handle it :)

    Lucky you get to go on a little vacation! Yay!

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  5. I don't mind the TMI at all, you have such a finessed way of talking about everything that I don't even notice! And yay for getting ready for another baby :)

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  6. I think I've told you before, but I love your 1,2,3 posts. Never disappoints. This was funny and so real. Real girl talk here! Haha.

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  7. I love your 1,2,3 posts... always a pleasure to read. And the photos of jax, cutes kid ever!

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  8. I'm nursing my baby too and I haven't thought of that part until now, it must be hard hu? good luck with everything :)
    and yay for baby #2!

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  9. Your son is so precious! Good luck weaning him off nursing :)

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  10. Girl, it's your blog...TMI'away! :)
    I would definitely heed your moms advice for sure, being pregnant, again, on a cruise...not a good combo eh?! :)
    And boys..."oh hah"...they sure know what to say huh? lol

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  11. Trying to plan pregnancy is HARD! We have baby fever bad over here, but we want to go on holidays this summer, when to come off the pill, are we going to get pregnant right away, blah blah blah.

    Men. That picture of Jax is ADORABLE!

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  12. I love your posts! Not tmi at all:) yay for baby number 2:) good for you being able to nurse that long I so wish I was able to longer then 4 months!

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  13. you are so cute. and jax is seriously so cute. it would be so fun to see a new sibling for him!!! :) enjoy your cruise!

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  14. again, another truthful and memorable post. you make me smile when i read your posts! love it!!

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  15. Psh, TMI away, girl! It doesn't make me bat an eyelash. If anything, it makes me love you / your blog more, because I'm not usually brave enough to "go there" ...

    But I'll go there in my comment. Maile will be 18 months on Friday. We're now on month 4 of no contraception. We were really, really hoping that we would be able to get pregnant just as quickly as we did the first time (right away, basically), but that's obviously not happening. I think part of it might definitely be that Maile is still nursing enough to keep another little out of Mama's belly.

    My dream has always been to nurse through pregnancy, and then tandem nurse, if necessary, but I think this might be God's way of telling us that things will happen as they're meant to, and maybe it's just not the right time for another child to join our family ... yet. :)

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  16. Good luck with it - it's not as bad as you think and oh the freedom you will have!

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  17. Ok. These pictures - WAY TOO ADORABLE! Look at him! Cutie!

    Oh and , I think the Girl Meets World is OFFICIAL now!! I used to loooove Cory's older brother (Eric?) in the show. what a classic tv show. haha!

    I thought I was following you already but I wasn't, I am now! :)

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  18. Oh my gosh, what a cruise nightmare... and you lived to tell the tale (on the internet... lol)???!!! Girl, you deserve to enjoy this next cruise.

    I know nothing about nursing, but if you can get through a cruise like that, you can get over this hurdle too.

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  19. That story on the cruise is hilarious! I could totally see my mom yelling the same thing hahaha
    I'm glad you can look back and (kind of) laugh about it.
    Good luck with weaning!

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  20. I grew up in the same ward as McKay and stumbled on your blog a while back - I LOVE the way you write! You are so open and honest and downright funny (IMO). Oh and I also saw you posted for OSSO in a newsletter I received - where did you serve? I went to Cuenca in the Spring of 2007 - changed.my.life. LOVED it! I am impressed with how long you have stuck with nursing! I just had my first baby (3 weeks ago) and I want to nurse for as long as possible... but my friends tell me its easier said than done. Any tips?

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  21. I can't even imagine how hard weaning will be - good luck to you! Also, way to go with taking charge of your health - it's a great message and reminder for all of us.

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