Peter

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I love studying the New Testament! To study Christ's ministry on the earth and people who were witnesses of Him have helped me recognize so much better His power and influence in my life and His role in joy, hope, peace, and anything and everything happy I feel and experience. One of my favorite witnesses of Christ to learn about has been Peter. He was Christ's "beloved." He had so many special and unique experiences with the Savior and I love that those who recorded what we get to read included so many stories about Peter so we can understand better (among so many other things) the role that grace plays in our relationships with Jesus Christ and how it affects us. I have loved placing myself where Peter was and trying to learn how Christ teaching Peter applies to me. 

Right now in the Bible we are at the end of Christ's ministry. He has told His disciples that He would be crucified and is attempting to prepare this group of me to carry on His ministry on the earth. They have sat on mountain tops with the Savior as He taught His gospel to them, they have witnessed miracle after miracle. They have been baptized and felt the power of the Holy Ghost witness to them that Jesus is The Christ. As I read these stories, Peter seems to always year to be as near to the Savior as he can possibly be. He was with the Savior on the Mount of Transfiguration. He walked to the Savior on the raging sea. He was with the Savior as the tax collector came (one of my favorite miracles that I recently learned more about). He was with the Savior on the mountain when Christ asked who the people they were ministering to thought he was. Peter answered and said that some thought he was John the Baptist, some thought He was Esaias. Christ then asked Peter who he thought He was and Peter answered and said, He was Christ, the Son of the Living God. Peter knew the Savior and loved Him. He knew He was the Son of God. When Christ told his disciples He was being crucified, Peter resisted that truth. I think he knew that Christ had the power and ability to resist the pain he was about to go through, and wished He would do that- not realizing that the Atonement for our sins Christ would preform would not only be our only way to overcome death, but the only way we could feel joy and peace as we experience life. It was essential according to the Plan of Salvation and the only way justice could be fulfilled so we could experience mercy. 

When Christ was being crucified, I'm sure the disciples felt their lives were in a dangerous and scary commotion. All had had other professions before and all had had just a short time with the Savior to learn His gospel. I wonder if part of the reason Christ allowed them to witness so many miracles and be a witness to so many sacred communions with God the Father was because He didn't have the time with them they needed otherwise. Peter left his life as a fisherman to follow the Savior. Time and time again, he exercised faith and his faith was made sure, but on the night of Christ's crucifixion, Peter denied Him three times, as prophesied by the Savior. 

I read that story now and see myself in Peter. When life seems easier- when it seems I am walking with the Savior, witnessing tender mercies I don't near deserve to witness, and experiencing peace- much like I imagine the disciples experiencing as they learned Christ's gospel at His feet on a grassy hill- it is easy to identify my faith. I love the story of Peter walking on the stormy sea. Many times when I heard this story, I imagined the storm calming just as the disciples recognized Christ walking on the water- but I know it didn't happen that way. The storm was raging, there were whitecaps- and these fisherman (who were professionals) were fearing for their lives.  I can only imagine how stormy the sea would have to be for that. Then, they saw, and probably felt, the presence of Someone walking on water. I imagine when Peter recognized the person as Christ, his desire to be near the Savior overpowered all laws of nature. Christ can overpower all laws of nature. Peter makes the choice to walk by faith, and leans to take that very first step into black, chilling water, as waves splash into his face and soak his clothes, trying to keep his eyes open and on the Savior. What I love about this story is that not only did the miracle require Peter's eyes to be on the Savior, the Savior never took his eyes off Peter. The Savior had more faith in Peter's ability to walk on water than Peter's faith in his own ability. 

The majority of Christ's miracles that we have record of are miracles where people's lives depended on their faith. They couldn't walk, they were possessed with a devil, they had an issue of blood, they were blind, they were looking after a sick child, their brother had died, they were drowning. Their desperation, their need required faith. I think our faith grows the most in moments or seasons of need. My never-wished-for moments of need are the ones I am most grateful for because in them my faith was built. My moments of approaching the Savior- bruised, broken, scared, even filled with darkness, and waiting for a miracle. The afflictions, I would never ask for; although, in their bringing me to the Savior, they become my greatest blessings. 

I love that we have record of Peter denying Christ. Not once, but three times. How often do I witness an undeniable manifestation of the Savior working in my life, and then deny Him. As I thought about this today I wondered what denying looked like for me. It's fear. When Peter denied the Savior, it may have been the first time He questioned Christ's ability to save him. The odds were too great. The Savior was being constrained and tortured before Peter and Peter was at the very delicate mercy of a wicked King and his servants. Maybe he wondered how in that moment could Christ protect Him. Could Peter have feared because the odds seemed too stacked against them?

I don't know what Peter's thoughts were, but I am so grateful for the record we have of his time with Jesus Christ and the evidence that he was mortal- just like us. Though I would never compare myself with Christ's most beloved disciple, I find comfort in the knowledge that even he wasn't perfect. Christ knew Peter would deny Him, and He still allowed Peter to witness miracle after miracle. He still trusted Peter to continue the ministry after He left Israel. He still bestowed upon Peter the power of the Priesthood- the ability to perform those miracles himself.