Bye, Insta

Pin It

A while ago, President Nelson gave the youth a challenge to "take a break from the fake," and do a one-week fast from social media. I think my experience on social media is probably a little different from the youth of the church- maybe not- but similarly, I waste a ridiculous amount of time on it. Instagram has been so convenient to document our life, but I've felt things I don't want to feel at certain times- inadequacy, competition, greed- just to name a few. I was constantly battling in my mind the desire to document, but also the urge to go back to life before so much of it was public. In short, this challenge wasn't just needed for the youth of the church- I needed it too. I deleted Instagram from my phone and ended up being off it for I think about three weeks. I didn't miss it, and it was only then that I noticed and absence of negative feelings in my life and recognized what they were. I no longer had a running list in my head of things I wanted for my house. I went to bed without mindlessly scrolling on Instagram on some random person's account. I found myself taking less pictures and enjoying more moments. I thought about what I could have done with all that time I had wasted.

When I was going through cancer treatment, I documented a lot. Because of that, I met so many people who were going through hard trials and we were able to help each other. I felt encouraged and not so alone. I found other people who were like me. There were so many moments when I could share what I was feeling and felt like it helped others. Others helped me too. We had friends visiting one weekend who suggested that I try to get more followers to have a broader audience. I feel ridiculous and embarrassed even typing that. How can that be a goal of people my age? I'm probably only sharing this because I know no one reads this blog anymore but it made me kind of want to laugh and die at the same time. And my first thought was- how do I raise my kids to think the opposite way? 

I realize that I'm looking at this extremely black and white. But my kids watch videos of "ninja" kids on YouTube and at the end of the videos, the nine-year-olds are asking for "likes and follows." It's just so not how I want my kids to be. I want their worth to lie in something so much greater and stable and worthy of them and their talents, than that. I knelt in prayer by my bed as I ended my Instagram "fast" with intent to get back on it and keep documenting my kid's lives- and I just felt this prompting to not get back on it. To blog instead. So here I am. Blogging. Like it's 2013.