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1. Exhale. Okay. We are trying to stop nursing over here. I have a plan- Jax needs to stop nursing by the beginning of December. Then my milk has to dry up (McKay is literally gagging reading this, I'm sure). Then I have to get a mammogram (I'll explain). Then, we are going on a cruise in February. And I CANNOT get pregnant until after or on (TMI?) the cruise. Two years ago, while pregnant with Jax, we took an unlovely vaca on a cruise where I spent most of my time in the boat hospital in the care of a doctor from Africa (or something) getting IV's and shots in my bum. Also, on the fancy night- which is my favorite night- I had to be wheeled in a wheelchair in my pj's past all the people in sequins and gowns down to the infirmary while my mom screamed "Don't worry! She's just pregnant!" Terrible. But we really are ready- and we talk about it all the time, and Jax needs a sibling and we have that feeling. So until the cruise, we will heed my mom's advice/plea to not "play with fire." This paragraph truly is just brimming with TMI.

2. I guess I just tangent-ed, but back to the nursing thing...I have to stop. But it's so hard- because I keep looking at myself holding him in the mirror and picturing him as this 18-year-old and I feel like nursing is this bond we have that I will never get back. And it feels like the end of something so special. And to make it worse, Jax begs for it. He cries and throws fits and he sits on my lap and gets into position and just looks up at me.

3. The mammogram explanation: A bunch of the girls in my family have a breast cancer gene called BRCA. It puts us at a high risk for breast cancer, so while I am in my early 20's, I have to have a "base mammogram" so in later years, they can tell if anything looks like it's growing in there. Anyways- nothing to worry about. Early prevention/detection is the important thing. So get your ta-ta's checked, girls!

4. Last night I was lying in bed next to McKay, who was, by the way, coding (?) on his computer. I was going through pictures and I came across this:

And I said awwwwwwww oh my goshhhhh Mckayyyyyyy look at this!! And he looked at it and said, "oh. hah." But this is one of my favorite pictures ever of Jax. His little face!